Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
