in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
