Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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