i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
