why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
