Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
