So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
