Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
