I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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