I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Randomize
