She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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