at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
