Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He kissed a someone with a penis
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
