We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
