I could make wine with my vomit
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
