It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
