my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
