I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
