Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
