Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
