those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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