I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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