Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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