We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
