I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
