I think I just saw someone hide a body.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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