You're my little dorito
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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