OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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