I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
