I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
