let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
