Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
