have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
