this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
