I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
