Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
