Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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