Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
A+ Viking dick
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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