if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
