I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
