The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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