I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
