Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize