Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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