idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
