As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
