This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I deserve this hangover.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
