apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
