no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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