and you said cock pushups were impossible
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
