A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
