Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
