You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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